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satan-is-not-natural:

mrrgh:

kawaii-i:

by Morticia’s Shop

if anyone puts that goddamn meme on this post i’m reporting them. you know the one.

image

weloveshortvideos:

When you hit the blunt before you go on the air… 

poopinginschool:

interviewer: any special talents?

me: image

Reblog16 hours ago with 382,162 notes

0ffic3cha1r:

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

Get married

Reblog16 hours ago with 268,268 notes

joshhutchercat:

my heart says yes but my mom says no

Reblog16 hours ago with 794,753 notes

do-raymi:

Reasons why you should date me:

  • I’ll make you breakfast.
  • You’ll be my breakfast.
Reblog16 hours ago with 85,678 notes

defekait:

if we are spooning and i arch my butt into you there is a 1000% chance i don’t actually have to stretch and that i just want to feel your boner

Reblog16 hours ago with 93,121 notes

proctalgia:

i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?

Reblog16 hours ago with 480,365 notes

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

razzle-the-dazzle:

hentai1080p:

when the back of my neck gets tickled
image

What the fuck happened to that plane

it got tickled on the back of its neck

Reblog16 hours ago with 158,124 notes

dutchster:

*stands behind a cute girl while pretending to talk loudly on the phone*
"yeah too bad it’s valentine’s day and i’m single. such a shame given my huge dick and expert lovemaking skills. i guess i’ll just have an expensive dinner all by myself"

Reblog16 hours ago with 5,793 notes